I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
