If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
