I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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