I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
foreskin is a definite game changer
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize