He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
