On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize