you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Randomize
