he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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