No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
