Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
