I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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