He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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