I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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