also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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