I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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