Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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