i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
