His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
