I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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