exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
