Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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