i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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