btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
