Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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