break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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