We're like a lot better than the average bears
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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