she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
