Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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