dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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