Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
