I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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