you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
