Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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