to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
