i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
