Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
do herpes really smell.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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