I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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