you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
