A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
