turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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