i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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