True but thats because hes a fetus.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
