There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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