she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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