Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
