So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
