Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
