Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Naked Twister starts at high noon
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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