On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
