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Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
