Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
