so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
