Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize