i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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