my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
