Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Randomize
