at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
