you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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