I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
